During my first year at university, my boyfriend departed for Toronto one spring weekend. I was new to Ottawa and not accustomed to being alone and away from my good friends back home. I rented a tiny apartment on the east side of the Rideau Canal. The rent was $70 per month. The older couple renting out this one-bedroom, with a kitchen, living room, and screened-in porch, lived below me. They owned and operated a neighbourhood grocery store, also in the same building.
I can’t recall being lonely, although I had made only a few friends during my first year at university. However, Ottawa was gorgeous in the winter. I skated along the Rideau Canal, and in the spring I could bike all the way to Carleton University for classes. On Saturday nights, my boyfriend and I would walk to a reasonably priced restaurant, usually along Elgin Street for dinner, or to a pub in the ByWard Market. Our favourite was a Chinese restaurant.
A Personal Journey into Solo Dining
When my boyfriend went to Toronto for that weekend in the spring, I felt restless on my own in our tiny apartment above the grocery store. Still, I didn’t know anyone well enough to ask them to join me for dinner. Without giving it too much thought, I decided to go out on my own for dinner on Saturday night. I was 19 years old and had never gone to a sit-down restaurant – not a cafeteria or a five-and-dime counter – on my own.
That Saturday night, I tried it, and to my great surprise, I enjoyed it. I was the only solo woman in the Chinese restaurant on Elgin Street. The servers appeared a little surprised, but they were gallant, seating me at a table by the window with a view. Everyone was polite to a fault. If the other diners were staring at me, I don’t recall feeling awkward. I ordered one egg roll, one bowl of hot and sour soup, and a main dish. Much the same as I would order if I dined solo today.
The thing is these days I hardly ever dine solo. I’m more than fifty years older than I was when I ventured into that restaurant in Ottawa, and I kept it up: dining solo, that is. In the many years that followed that experiment, I found dining alone enjoyable. On work trips, while travelling, or even at home, I often choose to dine alone, with just myself for company.
Solo Dining Trends and Changing Perceptions
A recent article by The Toronto Star’s food reporter Karon Liu caught my attention with this headline: “Forget the stigma. Solo dining is on the rise — and it might be the most rewarding way to eat out in Toronto.”
He writes: More and more people are eating out by themselves. Last fall, reservation platforms OpenTable and Kayak released survey findings pointing to a steady rise in solo dining among Canadians. Reservations for one rose by 16% in 2024 compared to the year before, and 73% of respondents said they plan on eating out alone in 2025. In Toronto those numbers were 17% and 74% , respectively.”
It’s extremely important to have make friends as we age. As I’ve written many times before, loneliness isn’t the preferred state for older people. We need friends and lots of them. We need to be involved in activities with other folks, we need our family, and we need to put ourselves out there and be receptive to new experiences.
Why You Should Try Eating Out Alone
But – and this is a big but – there are times when being alone is perfect, healthy, and might I add, liberating. Now that solo dining is coming into fashion (or back into fashion), I urge you to give it a try. If it makes you feel less conspicuous, try going to a good restaurant for lunch. Enjoy your meal, the banter with the staff, and perhaps even another solo diner at a nearby table. After that, try dinner on your own.
One way to overcome the barrier to dining solo is to take your laptop with you. I wrote most of my first novel in a tiny café across the road from my house. After a while, the owners became accustomed to seating me for dinner and stopped asking if anyone was joining me. When my daughter was away at university, dining solo felt like a gift. Not only was I freed from cooking after work, but I found a way to finish my novel quickly. There were too many distractions at home. Eating at the restaurant meant I could skip cooking and washing up, which in turn allowed me to forget about grocery shopping for dinner. It was a luxury.
I suggest giving solo dining a try. Bring your laptop or bring a book to read while you’re eating dinner. It’s a treat to be served, to enjoy your food and to read, all at the same time. For me, it’s much superior to watching television while eating or surfing the internet.
As Karon Liu says:
“Sure, you could see the trend as a symptom of growing isolation or loneliness. But I see something else: diners aren’t letting scheduling conflicts, the absence of a romantic partner, or social stigma get in the way of a good meal. And often, dining alone opens the door to exactly what it’s assumed to shut out: connection. When you’re on your own, you’re more open to the kinds of brief, surprising interactions — with servers, bartenders, or fellow diners — that remind you just how social a solo night out can be.”
