Celebrating Love Without Boundaries
It is a week until my only child is to be married, and I find myself pausing, almost daily, to ask how I feel. The answer comes quickly and clearly: I’m thrilled. My daughter, Hannah, is marrying her fiancée, and soon to be my daughter-in-law, Alisha. And in truth, I could not be happier.
What has struck me throughout this process is how natural it has all felt. Not one of the invited guests has remarked on the fact that Hannah is marrying a woman. There have been no sideways glances, no whispered comments. To my mind, what’s important is that they love each other deeply, treat each other with kindness, and sustain a peaceful, supportive life together. What else really matters in a marriage?
The beauty of this moment lies in its normalcy. In today’s world, there’s no reason why Hannah and Alisha cannot have children. In fact, either or both of them can, and I imagine them as wonderful parents—dedicated, responsible, and, of course, loving. When I picture the years ahead, I don’t see barriers or limits. I see possibilities.
The wedding itself will be big—just under a hundred guests. Most come from Alisha’s large and welcoming family, while our own family is smaller. But every local member of it will be present. Their attendance, their wholehearted support, feels like its own kind of blessing. Not one person has expressed hesitation about a same-sex marriage, not out of discomfort but out of genuine acceptance. It is as though, to them, Hannah and Alisha’s love simply is.
Planning the Perfect Ceremony
The ceremony will take place outdoors, beside a lake. An officiant will guide them through their vows, and afterwards, we’ll gather in a large tent for dinner. Hannah and Alisha have poured their hearts into every detail of this event. When Hannah sent me the program for the days leading up to the wedding and the wedding day itself, I realized that organizing a book launch—a task I once thought daunting—was peanuts compared to this.
There will be hair stylists, make-up artists, a professional photographer, and of course, a feast to remember. The tables will be set with care, the bar will be open, and the entire day promises to radiate joy. I’m awed by their commitment and organization. It’s their day, yes, but it’s also a reminder that milestones like this don’t just happen; they are carefully built with love and intention.
The Power of Chosen Family
I’ll admit something: though I’m endlessly interested in family history and even write about it, I’ve never been the quintessential “family person.” As an only child, with a half-brother who lived across the country, my closest sense of family came through my cousins. My parents’ home, in contrast, was not a gathering place. My mother was often at odds with members of my father’s family, the Waynes, which left our household more isolated than I would have wished.
Over the years, my cousins filled that gap. They became my circle and, eventually, Hannah’s too. They welcomed her wholeheartedly, embracing her as their own. In many ways, they offered what I could not: a wider, more connected family life. For me, this wedding is not only about the joy of marriage but about the triumph of cousins—the proof that family, however imperfect, can grow into something inclusive, supportive, and whole.
Finding Joy Amid Global Uncertainty
As I think about Hannah and Alisha’s wedding, I can’t help but reflect on the wider world. Every day’s headlines carry some new grief: the war in Ukraine, the unpredictable shifts in global politics, the ever-present turmoil of public life. Against that backdrop, the simple, profound act of two people pledging love feels even more significant.
Redefining Family Boundaries
There’s a lesson here: family comes in all shapes and sizes. It need not follow rigid definitions or narrow boundaries. At its best, family is inclusive. It is not about excluding but about welcoming, not about maintaining rigid lines but about creating new ones.
That’s why this wedding, to me, feels like more than an event. It feels like the life Hannah and Alisha have been longing for, a life of chosen love and open-hearted belonging.
For parents, weddings are bittersweet. They remind us that our children have grown into their own people, with their own lives, choices, and commitments. Hannah no longer needs me in the way she once did. And yet, this recognition brings not sadness but pride. She has built a life that reflects her values, her strength, and her love.
When I watch her marry Alisha by the lakeside, I will see not only the start of their married life but also the continuation of a story—our family’s story—that has traveled across generations and circumstances. A story in which cousins filled in for siblings, where traditions sometimes had to be built anew, where love found its way even in lonely households.
So here we are: a daughter’s wedding, a family’s triumph, and a mother’s quiet joy.
Advice on Cherishing Family Bonds
If there is one piece of advice I can give from this experience, it’s this: don’t hold back with your cousins. Don’t underestimate the ways family can surprise you, support you, and grow around you. In the end, family isn’t just about bloodlines; it’s about the people who show up, again and again, with open arms.
And when Hannah and Alisha say “I do,” surrounded by both the family they were born into and the family they’ve chosen, I will know that love—steady, kind, and generous—is what carries us forward.
